Starkish's Blog

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Month: October, 2009

The Worst Kind of Misunderstanding

After watching hair curling tutorials on YouTube that make it possible for you to have those Victoria Secret like windswept bouncy curls without having to walk a step faster or pray for a stray wind, I started to google Conair 2″ curling irons. Humming to Summerboy by Lady Gaga and clicking website after website, this guys suddenly out of no where screams ‘OMG, SHE’S SURFING FOR VIBRATING DILDOS!’ and I was like ‘OMG, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!’ scaring him away. Blinking at the disappearing figure with a snarl on my face, I thought, ‘Shit, he still got the wrong picture.’



I am this legend unknown to many. How did I become a legend you ask? It started of so innocently during the 3rd year of the 2nd semester. This subject called Topical Studies and this bright eyed girl. This subject of writing and research. This subject she thought would be her forte. For how she loved writing. This subject that titters her on the brinks of hell. And the drama seems to be on repeat for the fourth time. She was such a whore to change advisors every semester. 4 advisors. Who, she boasts, can top that? No one. Meaning only one thing. This legend has taken the subject …. 4 times? Is she stupid? Dense? Crazy? Bored? Even she doesn’t know.  The outcome of the drama this semester has yet to end. Its at its climax, bright eyed girl facing the laptop and typing out her future. Ever so slowly.

Numbers That Matter

After hurting my back from past intense riding I have started to feel age catch up on me. This age complex then starts seeping into your head and becomes your actions. My sweet fangs have reclined and I say to the Mamak ‘Milo kurang manis satu Boss,’ and smile tiredly at Father Time. ‘No child, you can not go back … age with grace,’ Father Time says, shimmers and disappears. ‘Boss!’ I scream amongst chaos, ‘Tukar order! Milo Dinosaur Tabur satu!’ And a tummy ache shortly follows and I feel young again.

The Movies

So, we went out last night to catch a movie after a friend of ours gave star reviews. Popcorn in one hand (specifically my friend’s hand which I proceeded to relieve him from) and drink in another (97% mine). We sat in row E 13, 14, 15 smack in the middle. Soon after the trailers came to an end, the Dolby stomp thingummy came on and 3 people at the back seat started to speak so ever audibly. ‘Wow, this is amazing!’ ‘Wow, I really like this, oh wait for this, yeah, nice!’ and etcetra.

A low buzz started to go off in my head. And I waited.

Into the movie, some lines starts to show telling the year and location the scene was in. And OH MY GOD, the fucktard behind me was reading out the god damn lines. Are you fucking kidding me? Never in my life would I have imagined to be blessed (?) to experience a situation such as this with a real live idiot. I am definitely used to the mock laughing and occasional calls but this? This fucking takes the cake.

The buzz in my head gets louder. And I try to concentrate watching the screen. And then … the Chinese kids in front of me start to talk. Not whisper. Talk.

So I gave the seat he was in a good, hard kick making his skull bounce and automatically making him and his friends shut their mouths. Turned around, stared down these three 3 indians, especially the idiot who read out the lines, wished them a Happy Deepavali and for them to shut the fuck up. And continued to watch the movie in deep thought whether I had been racist or not.

Still enjoyed the movie anyway.